


You've Got (30) New Matches

by castielanderson



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Blind Date, M/M, Online Dating, bisexual until proven otherwise, i borrowed nat's sexuality from 616 which should just be mcu canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-10 21:16:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2040471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielanderson/pseuds/castielanderson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When everyone finds out Steve's bi thanks to Bucky's recovering memories, Natasha kicks up her match-making into high gear.  Steve has zero luck, but Natasha won't give up, especially when Sam (jokingly) suggests online dating.  It isn't long before Steve finds someone, a someone who seems eerily familiar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You've Got (30) New Matches

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr user murphels prompted me "stucky, post-getting bucky back. bucky remembering something about steve that steve never would have guessed he even knew in the first place" i don't know what happened

It’s late, and the air is hanging with a mist and a distinct smell of mildew, warning of oncoming rain.  Steve eagerly lets himself inside the apartment building, shivering slightly when the warmth hits him.  His shoes clang loudly against the metal staircase, but he ignores it, too relieved to be home.  The apartment is quiet when he steps inside, and he assumes Bucky must be sleeping.  However, to his chagrin, Bucky is sitting on the couch waiting for him, sporting a shit-eating grin.

“So?” he asks, muting the already soft hum of the television the second Steve comes into view.  “How was it?”

“Fine,” Steve says with a shrug.

“Another bust?” Bucky asks, scooting over on the couch, allowing a place for Steve.

Steve settles into the cushions, sighing heavily and leaning his head back.  “I just wish Natasha would give it a rest.  I’m tired of trying to entertain all these women with my mind always elsewhere.”

Bucky nods, frowning slightly.

It’s been hard for Steve; it still is.  He doesn’t have the same nightmares as Bucky, and he voices that his can’t even compare – don’t even count, though Bucky heartily disagrees, but he still can’t get back into the swing of things for the life of him.  They both have been going to Sam’s support group, but Steve never opens up, never tries to help himself.  Bucky doesn’t talk much either, but he listens with open ears, and it helps.

A thought strikes Bucky, and he looks over at Steve curiously.

“What?” Steve asks, slightly fearful.

“Has Natasha ever set you up with any guys?” he asks. 

Steve pales, staring at him with disbelief.  “What - ?”

Bucky inclines his head toward Steve.  “Steve, come on.   You’re the one who told me I was your best pal in the first place.”

Steve continues to pale, now thoroughly confused.  “Yeah, but what does that - ?”

“I’m starting to remember things, Steve.  You know that.”

Steve is quiet for a long moment, regarding Bucky carefully.  He slouches forward in unease, then straightens up, looking back to his friend.

“Okay – but how the hell did you know? I’ve never told anyone.”

“Steve, Steve, Steve,” Bucky says, shaking his head.  “You never did tell me outright, of course, but we spent a lot of time together.  And I remember a particular party, I caught you necking with a lad two yours older than you – a baseball player we went to school with.  You were drunk, but I asked you once we got home what that was about and you told me – and I quote, ‘it’s been known to happen.’  I took that to mean you’d gotten with men before.”

Steve blinks, totally and completely dumbstruck, eyes filled with both awe and fear.

“How the hell – out of everything – you somehow remember that. _I_ barely remember that, Bucky.”

Bucky shrugs, putting his hands behind his head and leaning back.  He reaches out a hand when Steve continues to stare at him and claps him on the back.

“Think of it this way – I saved you an awkward re-coming out to your amnesiac best friend.”

Steve hardly responds.  He simply closes his mouth and looks away, the look of utter disbelief and unannounced confusion still etched onto his face.

Bucky can’t help but laugh.

.

Natasha hits him when Bucky makes Steve tell her.  A backhand across the face, but it doesn’t faze him.  She could have done a lot worse; he knows it’s just for show.  She does however, very heartily push him down on the sofa and stand in front of him with her arms crossed, her hips cocked, and her jaw set.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asks, almost hurt.  “God – Steve. _I’m_ bi.”

“I just came from the forties, Nat,” Steve sighs.  “I forget it’s _okay_ , sometimes.”

She pouts, and makes a noise of disbelief.

“I’m sorry,” Steve whines, in a tone that suggests he’s not very sorry at all.

“You’ll have to make it up to me, you know,” Natasha says, pressing her lips together and looking around the room like she’s trying to be distracted.

“Yes, I know, Nat.”

“You know how?”

“How?”

“By letting me set you up with this really awesome guy I know,” Natasha says, leaning forward and resting her hands on Steve’s shoulders.  “His name is Brandon and he’s fresh off a breakup, but he’s more than ready to mingle – he’s been dying to get out of that relationship, and he’s _really_ smart, like a doctorate and everything, and – “

Steve tunes her out then, shrugging out of her grip and standing up.  He walks right past her, not even acknowledging the fact that she continues to talk as she hurries after him.

.

Despite all reservations, Steve goes on the date with Brandon.  He really is smart; Nat wasn’t lying, but his favorite subject is, unfortunately – history.  He has a softspot for the sixties and seventies, which Steve unfortunately slept through, and before that, his interest decreases.  Steve tries to talk about his experiences of the forties, and particular World War II, but Brandon doesn’t really care.

“The forties were just – an awful, arrogant mess in my opinion,” Brandon says.  “There is so much evidence that World War II could have been avoided.”

Steve stares at him blankly, not sure he heard right.

“You know – I – the very opposite is actually true,” he says slowly.  “I don’t – I don’t think there was a way it _could_ have been avoided.  Germany, I mean – “

“Still, the United States didn’t have to be involved.  It was a stupid move.”

Steve doesn’t even respond – just scoffs.  He can’t even imagine where he’d begin.

When he gets home he rants at Bucky for three hours, complaining about “the ass who thinks people sign up for the military just to have a good time and explore the world and smoke a lot of shit.”  (“Isn’t that why you signed up for the army, Steve?”  “Bucky, I’m giving you a single warning.”)

“He thinks PTSD is a load of bullshit.”

“I think _he’s_ a load of bullshit,” Bucky responds without missing a beat.

Natasha apologies endlessly about the matchup, claiming she had no idea Brandon thought like that. 

“I never really asked him his opinion on the armed forces and foreign policy.  We usually kept it light.”

“It’s fine,” Steve promises.  “You didn’t know, Nat.  I don’t blame you for his ignorance.”

“I promise I’ll set you up with someone good this time.”

Andrew’s better, but he’s too extroverted.  He won’t take no for an answer when Steve refuses to leave the bar to go dance, and Steve is forced to awkwardly shuffle around like an idiot.  Andrew calls back five times, but Steve never answers.

Jason is quiet and artsy, and Steve really appreciates that, but he’s also _terrible_ at conversation.  At least Steve _tries_.

Harry is adorable, and Steve thinks they hit it off, but when they kiss at the end of the night, Harry can’t keep it chaste.  He almost begins digesting Steve’s face outside of the restaurant.

After his sixth unsuccessful date, this one with Tyson – who has long, ratty hair and an extensive collection of heavy metal music, Steve forbids Natasha from setting up with any more guys.

“Steve, come on,” Natasha says, grabbing a slice of pizza and sinking into the armchair.  It’s movie night at Steve’s apartment, and Bucky and Sam are on either side of him, eagerly listening to their disagreement.  “You can’t be alone forever.”

“I’m not alone,” Steve argues.  “Friends are fine.  Friends are enough.”

Natasha lets out a ‘hmph.’  “You know what, Steve.  You’re just too picky.”

“I am _not_ ,” Steve grumbles. 

“Yes, you are.”

“Isn’t there an easier way to do this?” Steve huffs.

“Steve, if you just want to sit at home all the time – “

“Not even that,” Steve protests.  “I’m fine going out, but – how hard is it to find someone you can relate to?”

“You just have to be willing, Steve,” Nat chides.

“And you have to not suck at setting me up with people.”

“I do not – “

“Yes, you do,” Steve, Sam, and Bucky say simultaneously.

Natasha turns her head, refusing to look at them.

“Hey,” Sam says, elbowing Steve.  “You could always go on Match.”

Steve’s eyebrows knit together.  “Match?”

“The website,” Sam clarifies.  “The dating website.  You know – you sign up, make a profile, and you get matched up with somebody else.”

Steve shrugs, but Bucky on the other hand practically jumps off the couch in excitement.

“Steve, you have to do it.  Oh my God, that’s _amazing_.  Sam, can he, like – can he, you know, look for guys?”

Both Sam and Steve are staring at him with looks of mingled concern and apprehension. 

“Yes,” Sam says slowly.  “Yeah, he can.”

“Steve – _do it_ ,” Bucky says excitedly, giving Steve a playful shove.  Steve just frowns.  “Natasha,” Bucky says with force, turning towards her.  “Will you help him?”

She looks at all three of them with contempt and distaste.  “You are all morons.”

“Come on, Nat,” Bucky whines.  He turns widely away from Steve and leans towards her.  “It’s a chance to embarrass him.  Are you really gonna give that up?”

Natasha slowly turns her head, a mischievous smile upturning her lips, and Bucky knows he’s won.

.

“Don’t say his name is Steve,” Bucky says, hovering obnoxiously over Natasha’s shoulder.  “Say it’s Stefon.”

“No, Natash – “ Steve tries for the umpteenth time.

“I’m leaving it as Stepford,” Natasha says, slapping Bucky’s hand as he reaches for the keyboard.  “Mmm.. interested in men and women, check.  Hmm… job… well, we can’t really admit you’re a SHIELD agent since SHIELD agents are all fugitives, so we’ll just say – law enforcement.”

“No, that’s shit,” Bucky sighs, reaching for the keyboard again.  “Say he’s a hitman.”

_“Bucky!”_ Steve says, appalled, and Bucky just shrugs, muttering, “It’s kind of true.  We kill people for a living, Steve.”

“Not if we can help it,” Steve protests.

“Hmm,” Natasha hums.  “No, what I should really say is cartoonist, or – comic artist.  Ah, the irony,” Natasha mumbles, chuckling to herself.

“Political affiliation,” Bucky reads.  “Put Nazi, please.  Then watch him explode.”

“I will never speak to either of you again.”

“I’m putting Anarchist,” Natasha promises, as if it’s a good thing.

Steve heaves a deep sigh and puts his head in his hands.  It goes on like this for at least over an hour.  Natasha and Bucky bicker back and forth, trying to come up with the most embarrassing, yet believable things they can think of, crafting Steve into a grotesque version of himself.  He leaves the room towards the end, no patience left, and makes himself a drink.  It’s one of those times he wishes he could get drunk.

.

Steve changes his profile after Natasha has left and Bucky is asleep, keeping things as neutral and as vague as possible.  He doesn’t think much will come out of this anyway.  However, he wakes up in the morning to at least thirty matches.

He weeds out the Republicans right away, which he finds extremely odd in the first place, seeing as gay rights don’t seem to be a Republican thing.  He knows politics have changed a lot, and the focus of the world has turned, but he thinks he knows enough.

After that, he goes the shallow route and gets rid of the matches he doesn’t find aesthetically pleasing.

Next comes the hard part – reading, digging, stalking basically.   At the end of the day, he finds three men he’s willing to give a shot: Thomas, Anthony, and James.  He messages all of them and waits.  After a few minutes, he reminds himself they probably aren’t waiting on a message from him, so he reaches out to shut his laptop.  A part of him can’t do it, and he doesn’t realize why until a message pops up from James.

Hi, Grant. 

Thanks for admitting your interest in me.  I’m new to this website, so it’s pretty encouraging.  You seem like a great guy, and I hope you aren’t too turned off if I say I really want to get to know you.

Yours,  
James

Steve can’t help it; he smiles.  He closes his laptop then, deciding he’ll reply in the morning.

.

When he wakes up to check his messages, he sees he has a new message.  He wonders if it’s from Anthony or Thomas, but instead he finds that James has sent him another.

            Hi,

I don’t want to be too forward – I just honestly had some trouble with my laptop last night and I was worried my first message didn’t go through.  Let me know!  And also, good morning.  I hope you have a good day.

            Yours,  
            James

Unable to keep the grin from splitting his face, Steve begins typing.

            Good morning, James!

I’m so glad you’re interested in me too.  For some reason, your profile really stood out to me, and I’d like to get to know you as well.

You already know most of the basics thanks to my profile, but is there anything you’re particularly curious about?

I saw that you’re an ex-military.  I am too. If you wouldn’t mind me asking, what branch were you?  I was an airforce pilot.  An accident put me out of commission, so now I’m salesman.  I’ve been thinking about going back to school for forensics, but that’s more of a pipe dream.

            Yours,  
            Grant

.

Steve, as Grant, continues exchanging messages with James for the better part of the week.  He feels weird lying about himself, but he confronts Natasha and she spells it out for him, making him feel better about everything.

“I don’t know, Steve.  If I were to make myself a profile, I wouldn’t exactly put up links to the now-public SHIELD database.”

“That’s true.”

“And you want people to like Steve Rogers, not Captain America.”

After that, he doesn’t feel like such shit.  He doesn’t lie _too_ much, anyway, just changes certain details of his life.  Eventually the truth will come out, and it will be a good test of whatever relationship he forms.

It amazes him – it really does, how alike he and James seem to be.  They share the same beliefs, the same interests, and even the same sense of humor.  They seem to run in the same circles, as they both live here in DC and share many of the same favorite hangouts.  As Steve continues typing away into the late night, he wonders how and why it took so long for them to find each other.

.

It’s about a month before Steve wakes up to a long, rambly message from James.  Closer inspection reveals that James had sent it at around four in the morning.  Steve was soundly asleep then, after telling Bucky to turn down the television out in the living room.  They’d wrapped up their conversation and Steve had been exhausted.  Clearly, James had more on his mind.

            Grant,

It’s been awhile, and I feel like I know you fairly well.  I know you’re anxious about where everything is headed, but I really, really want to meet you.  I thought we would take things slower first.  Giving each other our phone numbers, calling each other for the first time, but honestly, Grant, I can’t wait.  You’re too interesting and I like you far too much to keep this strictly online.  God, it’s scary typing this out.

I really hope you aren’t freaked out.  If you are, just tell me, so I won’t sit here all day in agony wondering what you think.  I really hope you want to meet me too, Grant.  I really do.  Please respond as soon as you can.

Yours,  
James.

Steve’s heart pounds in his throat as he quickly types a reply.

            James,

            I would love to.

Meet at our favorite restaurant?  Pete’s at seven tonight?  Ask for a reservation under Grant Stevenson.

            I’ll see you then.

            Yours,  
            Grant

He can’t grab his phone fast enough.

.

After his morning run, which goes much smoother, Steve returns home to find Bucky eating cereal on the couch.

“Hey, Buck,” he says carefully, grabbing a water bottle and dropping down in the seat next to him.

“Shit,” Bucky responds.  “You’re all sunshine this morning.”

“Yeah, yeah – you could say so,” Steve says, bouncing his leg.  Bucky frowns as he watches him.  “Listen – I – I need you to make plans tonight, or just – not be home.  I’m going out with this guy I met and I kind of . . . want a little privacy.”

“Don’t worry,” Bucky says, swallowing a bite.  “I’m already busy, Steve.”

“You and Sam having another movie night?” Steve asks.

Bucky huffs dramatically, getting up from the couch.  “None of your business, Steve,” he says sarcastically.  “God, get out of my life.”

Steve laughs, maybe a little too heartily.  He can feel the blush rising in his cheeks, and he shakes his head to himself as he realizes he’s acting like a lovestruck teenager again, chasing after skirts and military uniforms.

.

 

Nat doesn’t need any persuading whatsoever to help Steve get ready for his date.  He calls her, and says, “Nat, I have no idea what to wear please help,” and she responds with, “I’m waiting outside your door.”  He opens it and she stands there smugly with a pile of fashion magazines and her supply kit of razors, hair gel, and cologne.

“I – I have all that,” Steve says following after her as she stalks inside.

“Yeah, but what I have is better.”

It takes roughly an hour before Steve is trimmed, tidied, and dressed to impress.  He takes a look in the mirror and is slightly unsure about the person staring back at him.  His usual clean cut shave has been left with the slightest hint of stylized stubble, and his hair isn’t slicked back like he thought it would be – it’s artfully volumized.

“Well?” Nat asked.

Steve takes a step back.  “I don’t – I don’t know.”

“Still caught up in the gentlemen act, I see,” she remarks.  She grabs his shoulders and gives him a firm shake.  “You look good, Steve.  Trust me.”

“Well considering I have no time left to change, I think I’m going to have to,” he sighs, running a hand nervously down the lapel of his well-fitted jacket.  He bites his lip and grabs a fistful of fabric.

“Steve.”

“Huh?”

“You’re welcome.”

He turns around, looking her in the eye.  A genuine smile, thought tinted with nerves, splits his face.

“Thank you, Natasha.”

She ruffles his hair slightly, and then to his surprise, slaps him on the ass.

“Go get ‘em, tiger.”

.

Pete’s is crowded when Steve enters the restaurant, and an overwhelming amount of apprehension fills his gut.  He starts to regret every one of his decisions, starting with allowing Natasha and Bucky to sign him up for that stupid dating website.  He stutters when he gives his name, almost forgetting his alias, and by the time he reaches the table for two, he’s afraid he might puke.

“Can I start you out with some of our wine, sir?”

“Yeah,” Steve says, taking deep breath.  “Whatever’s your strongest, please.”

The waiter chuckles.  “I’ll bring you something good.  I promise.”

Steve’s early, almost embarrassingly so, and he’s really starting to wish he wasn’t.  He wanted to be able to get himself grounded, but the anticipation is only driving his anxiety up the wall.  He drains his wine glass the second he gets it, and wishes desperately that because it is their strongest, that it could just get him tipsy at the very least.  Maybe if he drinks enough.  He’s never really tried drinking seven bottles of wine in one sitting, but he feels like he could tonight.

Steve’s on his third glass of wine when he sees him.  At first he thinks he might actually be drunk, but nothing has changed – it’s just that Bucky is walking straight up to him.

“Bucky?” he asks disbelievingly.  “What are you doing here?  I thought you had plans.”

“I do,” Bucky says, slightly defensive, “and I’m just as confused.  Why are you here?  I – I think you’re at the wrong table.”  He looks around with impatience.

“No, I’m not,” Steve says.  “Bucky – what are doing – ?”

“I’m supposed to meet – “

And then he stops dead in his tracks, looking around at Steve again.  The confusion has completely drained from his face, along with the color.  He looks like he’s seen a ghost.

“Shit,” he hisses.

“What?” Steve asks.

“Grant Stevenson.”

And then it hits Steve, too, and his brain suddenly can’t compute anything but a name.

“James Truman.”

“Did we really - ?”

“Yep.”

“You and I – ?”

“Yep.”

“Um - “

Steve gestures awkwardly for Bucky to take a seat.

“Wh – “ he looks down, unsure of what Steve is saying, but then his eyes land on the chair.  “Oh – yeah, I probably should – hmm.”  He sits down a little too hard, knees knocking against the legs of the table and Steve’s wine glass trembles.  He clears his throat, looking down at his lap.

“So,  I – uh, I didn’t know you had a profile,” Steve remarks.

“Yeah, I – I got it the same night you did,” Bucky replies.

“I didn’t – didn’t know you were interested in men either.”

Bucky nods.  “Yeah, yeah.  I’m, uh – I’m bi too.”  He coughs into his elbow, obviously forced.  “I didn’t know you changed your profile.”

Steve can’t help but smile.  “Did you really think I would keep it like that, Buck?”

“I guess not,” Bucky laughs, rubbing the back of his nick.

“What about you?” Steve asks.  “Why the fake name?”

Bucky looks down at his lap again, heaving a breath before he looks back up at his best friend.  “People know who Bucky Barnes became.  You think anyone wants to date the Winter Soldier – an internationally known assassin?”

“I do,” Steve says, surprising both of them.

And the thing is – it’s true.  Steve’s never been able to admit it until now.  He told Sam a while ago that he wouldn’t date because it was hard to find someone with similar life experiences, and then Bucky came back into his life and it was a cruel twist a fate.  All those years, all those memories came rushing back, of Steve chasing after guys, any guys that would take him, all because he couldn’t deal with the fact that he couldn’t have Bucky.

But now Bucky’s sitting in front of him, with his mind becoming clearer every day, able to listen and recall stories from their childhood, and he’s the best friend Steve’s ever had.  He’s everything Steve’s ever wanted and the world has pushed them together one more time, and he wants it.  He desperately, _desperately_ wants it.

But Bucky scoffs, and it breaks Steve’s heart.

“You’re just saying that, Steve.”

“I’m not,” Steve insists, and he looks at Bucky earnestly.

At first, Steve thinks he gets it, and maybe he feels it too, but then Bucky shies away, leaning back in his seat.

“Maybe this was a mistake.”

“Bucky – “

He swallows hard, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry,” he says, pushing himself away from the table and getting up.  “I’ll see you at home, Steve.”

“Bucky, wait – “ Steve calls, but he doesn’t even flinch.  Steve is up instantly, chasing after him.  He doesn’t catch up until they’re outside, under the fall of night and the gentle sprinkle of a weak rain.

“Steve, please don’t,” Bucky protests, refusing to even look at him.

But Steve won’t have that.  He puts a hand on Bucky’s shoulder and whirls him around so they’re facing each other.

“Buck, I can’t help if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

Bucky sighs, looking around them helplessly.  He opens and closes his mouth several times, but when it seems he finally finds the words, all he can do is stare at Steve with glassy eyes.  He has to take a deep, trembling breath before he talks.

“I signed up for the website so I could meet someone who didn’t know anything about me,” he begins.  “Steve, I know when we’re together sometimes – sometimes I seem like who I was before any of this crazy shit happened.  Like when – when we were teenagers, but – but everything keeps _eating_ at me and I can’t stand knowing who I am, and I just - I wanted to be in a relationship with someone who only knew what I wanted them to know.  And – and even when the truth came out, maybe they wouldn’t hold any of that against me because they’d only see the good parts.”

“Bucky,” Steve tries to say disapprovingly, but he can’t breathe.  His throat is stuck together and his chest feels too heavy.

“And I – I found ‘Grant’, and I thought maybe I’d get my wish, and it turns out it’s you – the last person I would want being infected with all my shit.  I mean, hell – I can barely handle being your friend, Steve.  And it’s not because of you at all.  It’s  - it’s because people look at the two of us and they see you, Captain America, the greatest hero this world’s ever seen, and then they see me, the Winter Soldier, the guy who killed a lot of fucking people for the bad guys, and who’s now killing people for the maybe-good guys.”

“Bucky,” Steve manages to choke out quietly, shaking his head.  “Stop.  Just stop for a second, Buck.”

He reaches out, grabbing either side of Bucky’s face gently.

“You have to know all of that is a lie.  You’ve seen the memorial.  You’re not just the Winter Soldier, Bucky.  You’re a Howling Commando – the only Howling Commando to give his life – or so we thought – for the greater good.  And, honestly – Bucky, you’re – you’re my best pal and – and I want you to be more.”

Bucky shakes his head, closing his eyes tightly, but Steve just holds him tighter, moving his hands to Bucky’s neck.  Without hesitation, he leans forward, pressing lips firmly against Bucky’s.  Bucky tries to fight it at first, but when Steve pulls away, he leans in for more, snaking his hand around Steve’s waist.  When they’re finished, Bucky leans his forehead against Steve’s, breathing heavily.

“I’ve been dreaming about that since we were kids.”

Steve blushes.  “That long?”

Bucky nods.  “That long.”  He takes a deep breath, then leans back, looking at Steve sheepishly.  “I’m sorry for running out.”

“It’s okay,” Steve promises, reaching down and taking Bucky’s hand.  “Our table is still waiting for us if you want to go back in.”

Bucky nods again, giving a small smile. “I’d love to, Steve.”


End file.
